JUDGEMENT

Judge not lest ye be judged. 

One of the tiny 11 laws that I live by.  Today it dawned on me that I have been living in contradiction of this law.

I judge no one else.  Some others, I chose not to be around because their belief system and my own is vastly far apart.  To be together for an extended time both would suffer.  Some others, I choose not to be around because they have hurt me in some way and to continue being around them would not benefit either of us.  This does not mean that I judge what they will do in the future only that I have seen who they are in the past.  

I suppose, being completely honest, I do judge some... they are the others that choose to harm and this most especially would concern children.  These folks, if I had one wish it would be lucid dreaming of what their victims life will be because of their actions.  Dreams that will never fade.  In fact, wouldn't it be nice if we could all have lucid dreams regarding our interactions with others?  We would then understand fully our positive impact on others as well.  So that judgement is not even a true sentence as it would benefit all of us to be able to see the long term effects of our interactions with another.  Of course, to do this would be so time consuming that there would be no time to fully live our own lives.

In my quest to obey this internal law, I have neglected a very important aspect of it.  It is judging the self.  Thinking about it, I judge myself for EVERYTHING.  If the house is clean, I judge myself for not spending the time on something else.  If the house is dirty, I judge myself for not taking the time to clean it.  If I say something to another, I judge my own ability to be clear enough that it not be taken in a way other than it was intended.  I judge my weight.  I judge the fact that my hair needs to be colored and then again that I feel the need to color it because the dye damages my coarse locks.  I judge myself for making a decision about anyone or anything else.... check, double check, triple check... did I just judge that person? I judge my ability to write.  I judge how I care for my animals.  I judge simply every aspect of my life.  

Now, I'm not talking about making decisions about the above items..... I judge myself as right or wrong on the decision I've made.  This clearly indicates that I do not trust my decisions to be what is correct for others.  Oh the decision may be correct for ME but oh my what if I hurt someone else?  What if someone else does not enjoy my writing style?  What if... what if... what if..

SCREW IT... This is insane.   I'm done judging myself.... it is against one of the 11 laws that I live by and I will do it NO MORE.